When “Normal” Isn’t the Goal: How My Son - and My Clients - Led Me Back to Myself
For years, I worked with children who struggled to speak - only to discover I had lost my own voice.
What began as a quiet discomfort turned into a life-changing realization about what it really means to be seen, heard, and understood - not just in therapy, but in life.
The Problem with “Normal”
I was a speech-language pathologist (SLP) for over 15 years, supporting children and adults with various disabilities. My job was to help them communicate, connect, and function more effectively in the world. But somewhere along the way, I began to question how I was helping.
The therapy I was trained in - the systems I operated within - were all focused on one thing: helping people appear “normal.”
But normal... doesn’t exist.
And more importantly - why were we chasing it in the first place?
I began to notice how these radiant, deeply feeling individuals were being shaped, molded, and measured by external standards that had nothing to do with their true essence. And I realized, with a sinking feeling, that I was doing the same thing with my own son.
When My Son Became My Mirror
My son has always been beautifully sensitive, creative, and unique. But I found myself frustrated with him - trying to “fix” things - things that weren’t really problems. I was trying to parent him the same way I had been trained to treat my clients.
And then I saw it:
The frustration I felt didn’t come from him.
It came from within me.
Because it didn’t feel right.
Because I didn’t feel seen or heard, either.
That realization cracked me wide open.
I began shifting my focus in my work and in my home. I moved away from what society calls “deficits” and “behaviors” toward emotional understanding. I started asking:
What’s really going on underneath this behavior?
What is this communicating?
Finding Human Design - and Finding Myself
It was around this time that I discovered Human Design. And it felt like something inside me lit on fire.
That first reading revealed parts of me I had never shared with anyone - parts I thought were wrong or broken. But Human Design showed me they were not mistakes. They were my design.
That one session gave me permission to stop hiding.
To stop fixing.
To begin trusting myself.
By following my Strategy & Inner Compass, I was led to Dr. Valerie Rein’s book - The Patriarchy Stress Disorder which eventually led me to work with her and her team. I began a journey of healing with an incredible group of women on the same path. I discovered my truth. It took years, but I found my voice again. I began to listen to my body in a new way - as a wise messenger, not a problem to solve.
The Body Knows: How Interoception Changed Everything
As I grew, I began to see how my own healing aligned with what my Autistic clients needed. I knew they were feeling things deeply… but didn’t always have a way to access or express those emotions.
That’s when I discovered interoception - the internal sense of how your body feels. It became a breakthrough.
Instead of focusing on external behaviors, I found an easy way to guide children and young adults to tune into their own body sensations - the fluttering in their stomach, the pressure in their chest, the tightness in their jaw. From there, we could begin to link sensation to emotion.
It was simple.
It was profound.
And it worked.
Interoception and emotional regulation became the heart of my SLP practice in those final years - a practice rooted in helping others feel safe in their own skin.
Closing My Practice and Opening a New Chapter
While this transformation unfolded professionally, I was also watching my son grow increasingly anxious. Middle school was different than elementary. The pace. The expectations. The systems that didn't understand him.
Even when I moved him to a more nurturing school, things got worse. He began to shut down - not because he couldn’t learn, but because he was being judged for being who he is and learning differently.
Eventually, I closed my practice to be fully present with him. At the time, I thought it was temporary.
It wasn’t.
That time together changed both of us. I began to see how much his challenges weren’t just his - they were echoes of my own wounding, mirrored back to me with tender urgency.
The Shift That Changed Everything
During this season of walking the path with him, I continued studying Human Design - and began looking at my son’s chart more closely.
At this point - I recognized that I wasn’t truly embracing his design:
He has only two defined centers - his Sacral and Spleen.
That was the first profound insight.
No wonder he was so anxious.
He wasn’t just reacting - he was absorbing everything - including ME.
He feels everything - not just emotionally, but energetically.
And he feels it more than I do.
His body is wide open, highly sensitive to the energy of the world around him. His perception, his experience, his overwhelm - it all made sense in a way it never had before.
That one realization changed how I understood his anxiety.
It wasn’t about something being wrong.
It was about how deeply tuned in he is.
Then I looked more closely at his undefined throat center - by truly embracing this difference - I shifted how I related to him. It helped me understand that sometimes, he just can’t speak, especially about himself. That he doesn’t always have consistent access to self-expression in the moment like I do.
It taught me to be present, to wait, and to show up when he could speak - not when I wanted him to.
Now, when his voice does come forward, I drop everything.
I hold space.
I see him.
And in doing that, I honor his design - and the deep wisdom it carries.
What I Do Now - and Why It Matters
I no longer work as a traditional therapist.
But I am more of a guide than I’ve ever been because I know my truth.
Today, I help others come home to their truth - using the tools that changed my life: Human Design, interoception, emotional healing, and spiritual guidance.
I do this work because I believe no one is here to be “fixed” or be “controlled.”
You are here to be seen.
To be understood.
To be honored in your wholeness.
Because when we let go of who we’re told to be or expected to be…
We discover who we truly are.
As I continued to heal, I realized that understanding my body’s cues was just the beginning. There were other inner voices - subtle, sacred ones - that I had never fully learned to hear. My soul had something to say. My mind had its own patterns. And I began to discover that true clarity comes not from choosing just one voice… but from learning to listen to each part of you in harmony.
I share more of that journey - and what happened when my soul took over — in this blog if you’d like to keep exploring.
Ready to return to the truth of YOU - or your child?
I offer a free 15-minute discovery call to explore how Human Design, body wisdom, and soul guidance can support your journey. Contact me and we’ll see if this feels right for you…