Please Tell Me It’s Okay For Me To Be Here

Can someone please confirm that I belong here?

Can someone please confirm that I matter?

Can someone please confirm that I have value?

Can someone please confirm that it's okay for me to exist exactly as I am?

I didn't realize it for most of my life, but this was the question beneath almost everything I did.

Beneath the achievements.

Beneath the relationships.

Beneath the degrees and certifications.

Beneath motherhood.

Beneath the businesses.

Beneath the endless striving to become someone.

I wasn't really searching for success.

I was searching for permission.

Permission to belong.

Permission to matter.

Permission to take up space.

Permission to be here.

Looking back now, I can see how much of my life was spent trying to earn what I believed everyone else already possessed.

I thought if I could achieve enough, help enough, know enough, love enough, sacrifice enough, heal enough, then perhaps someone would finally hand me the answer I had been searching for.

A simple confirmation:

"Yes, Debbie. It's okay for you to be here."

I spent my life asking the world for permission to exist.

And one day I realized the world was never in a position to grant it.

For most of my life, I was asking:

"Can someone please confirm that I belong here?"

"Can someone please confirm that I matter?"

"Can someone please confirm that it's okay for me to be here?"

Today, for the first time, I am no longer waiting for an answer.

I am simply here…and I am no longer asking.